Romance thread - DA4 edition

I think by now we have firmly established what my feelings are on the matter of romance in Dragon Age - mods aside, the only time I walked away satisfied from my options was DA2 and Fenris. Alistair and Cullen are at the top of my 'let me love you!' lists of BioWare romances.

I'm gonna be honest here, I worry about the next game. Because from where I stand (and I know it's a subjective view), they've been pretty quick to throw in dynamics that skirt the line of abusive when it comes to same sex pairings - I find Anders emotionally manipulative and abusive (like he actually pulls the "if you love me, you'll do this" line about helping him with planting the bomb in the Chantry, plus when he's not a romance, when romancing Fenris instead, he actually says "he seems more a wild dog than a man," dehumanizing Fenris, not to mention being the only companion who approves of sending Fenris back into slavery), Sera's relationship was cited by actual domestic abuse therapists as seeming to be textbook, Bull can come across as this with the initial scene - while he's getting confirmation about what the Inquisitor is ready for, he doesn't actually explain anything in what we see (line limits being a thing, which is kind of a problem in circumstances that require ongoing communication), and, while after that listing, this seems petty in comparison, Dorian not showing the Inquisitor the same respect he shows Bull of communicating and sharing his plans to return to Tevinter, seemingly for good, making their relationship a long distance one for an indefinite period of time... That's disrespectful behavior. Not to mention the fact that they have had every M/M relationship except with Fenris make innuendo regarding being tied up or in chains of some kind, implying that M/M relationships are inherently kinky (with Fenris seeming as the exception because someone realized that the abuse victim expressing an interest in bondage might be in somewhat poor taste), or the fact that every non-PC F/F romance of note in the series has been abusive and manipulative (Marjolaine/Leliana, Branka/Hespith, Celene/Briala, the last of these REALLY bad because Inquisition paints getting them back together as a good thing...)

Like, whether or not I'm ready too much into things (it's been known to happen), I think it means something that anyone is walking away thinking this, period.

I love these games. I love this universe. But I look at the examples of what they've done to this point, I don't feel confident in their ability to deliver on quality content for queer players. Whether it's a directive from on high or a blind spot a mile wide caused by the fact that the writers in question have been straight and unaware of how lacking in diversity the stories for queer players are, they're still falling back on repetitive narratives and an inability to see homosexuality as something that society doesn't care about.

I mean, that last point has always been my sticking point about Dorian and his character quest in Inquisition, that, aside from the odd hiccup, I felt like Thedas didn't care about sexuality, and then, oops, no, even in this fantastical world, this is something that marks you as 'different.' As 'deviant.' As 'the other.'

My ideal romance options in Dragon Age 4 would be A) the Knight in Shining Armor type, the blond, sweetheart, gentle soul who is genuinely nice, and is 100% gay, is not and will never have a romantic relationship with a woman, B) a werewolf struggling with the curse, play the "Beauty and the Beast" love story, because that's a narrative that's always had a queer undertone, and C) an elf (city-born or Dalish, I'm flip-flopping on this) who is proud and unwavering in his support of his people and culture while still standing against Solas/Fen'Harel. The knife to the gut is that I don't expect any of these to happen.